Three bulls, one large, one medium, and one small, were standing in the pasture and had just heard a rumor that the farmer had just bought a new, larger bull. The largest of the three said,"Well, he ain't getting none of my cows." The medium bull said,"He ain't getting none of my cows."

Once upon a time there was a nonconforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter. However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly started to fly south. In a short time ice began to form on his wings and he fell to earth in a barnyard, almost frozen. A cow passed by and crapped on the little sparrow.

Two guys are on duty at a French Foreign Legion fort. One says to the other one, "See that camel over there? I'll bet you I can make him jump 30 feet in the air.
The other guy says no way.

A jogger running down a country road is startled as a horse yells at him "Hey-come over hear buddy".
The jogger is stunned but runs over to the fence where the horse is standing and asks"Were you talking to me"?