A couple were going out for the evening. They'd got ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc.

The taxi arrives and as the couple go out the cat shoots back in. They don't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the cat out.

   1.  Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem.
   2. Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.
   3. Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off of the roll.
   4. Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor, as thou art not transparent.

A bachelor who lived at home with his mother and pet cat went on a trip to Europe. Before he left he told his best friend to inform him of any emergencies.

A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments, tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead.