For all computer geeks out there!

CAT v.6.1b: Completely Autonomous Tester, Manufactured by MOMCAT (Maker of Many CATs)

User Installation & Maintenance Documentation

The following ad appeared in "The Atlanta Journal" and is reported to have got numerous calls.

Single Black Female

• Seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.

In the state of political correctness, nobody is a "liar" they are simply "verbally superfluous". No one is a "housekeeper," they are "domestic engineers." See how we can apply this "game" to the many activities of our cats:

• My cat does not barf hairballs, he is a floor/rug redecorator.

Cats are beautiful, sophisticated, intelligent creatures. And with a little love and caring, they can keep a human being alive for upwards of seventy to eighty years. If you follow these simple instructions, you can have your human housetrained in no time.