When the world was created, the gods decided to appoint one creature to see that it ran smoothly and to oversee all other creatures. The creature they selected was the cat. Thoughtful and contemplative, cats were given the power of speech in order to talk with the creator gods and give instructions to the other creatures who shared the world. For a long time all seemed to go well.

It is reported that the following edition of the Book of Genesis was discovered in the Dead Sea Scrolls. If authentic, it would shed light on the question, "Where do pets come from?"

1. Act nonchalant.
2. Be comfortable.
3. Control yourself.
4. Discriminate.
5. Explore.

Things CATS Must Try To Remember!

   1. As if!!! Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.

   2. I should not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.

   3. If I put a live mouse in my food bowl, I should not expect it to stay there until I get hungry.