The old time pastor was galloping down the road, rushing to get to church on time.
Suddenly his horse stumbled and pitched him to the ground.

To make it possible for everyone to attend church this Sunday, we are going to have a special "No Excuse Sunday":

Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, "Sunday is my only day to sleep in."

A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners.
All went well until he came to one house.  It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times.

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying.
To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."