A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle of his message.
The man returned just before the conclusion of the service.

A middle-aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she has a near death experience.

After the revival had concluded, the three pastors were discussing the results with one another.

The Methodist minister said, "The revival worked out great for us! We gained four new families."

For the umpteenth time Mrs. Youngston came to her pastor to tell him, "I'm so scared!
Joe says he's going to kill me if I continue to come to your church."