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AOLer's Christmas jokes - America on line humor - the night before Christmas

'Twas, the night before Christmas, and all through the house.
Not a creature was stirring, except for my mouse.

No kids lived with me, so I thought I would chatter.
There'd be no damn reindeer, and no stupid clatter.

There'd be no fat elf, coming through my chimney.
I'll be alone, my computer and me.

I won't race to the window, to see him arrive.
I'll just sit right here..... with windows ninety-five.

There's no one I know, as I'm surfing around.
None of my regular buddies are found.

I went in some chat rooms, but quickly got out.
Age, sex, location is all that's about.

As, I was about to go check out the net.
I got an E-mail which I didn't expect.

A lady told me, she had read my profile.
And, ask, if I might like to chat for a while.

She said, if I didn't, then she would just leave.
But, she was so lonely, on this Christmas Eve.

She said, it's the first time, she'd ever been on.
But, she heard, computers, could be so much fun.

She said, the computer, was usually locked tight.
But, she said, her husband, left it on... tonight.

He's away on some business; He'll be gone all night.
So, she thought she'd use it, "I guess it's all right."

She started to tell me, about her whole life.
How, she was expected to be a good wife.

She talked of her anger, frustrations, and needs.
Because, she was forced, to do such silly deeds.

She talked on and on, from one thing to the next.
Then finally told me...... she was oversexed.

She didn't have sex, with her husband, she told.
He's always too busy, and getting too old.

Then, she wrote me something, that made my heart vex.
She asked me to teach her, to have cyber-sex.

I said, if she wanted me to, that I could.
Then after an hour, she got really good.

After five hours, my fingers were sore.
I told her, that I couldn't go anymore.

She said, that was fine, because she was tired too.
And anyway, her husband, soon would be due.

She said she would be on, the same time next year.
Then asked, if I wouldn't mind, meeting her here.

She said, only.... on this night, she could be found.
It is only.... this night, her husband leaves town.

She said bye, and signed off.....and I had to pause.
I think I just cybered........with Mrs. Santa Claus!!!!