A computer programmer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

1. Your business card is more cluttered than Warren Beatty's address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded that the first page of any letter you write is letterhead.

DOS Air

All the passengers go out onto the runway, grab hold of the plane, push it until it gets in the air, hop on, jump off when it hits the ground again. Then they grab the plane again, push it back into the air, hop on, etc.

APL, BASIC, COBOL, FORTRAN, PASCAL, RPG ... these programming languages are well known and (more or less) loved throughout the computer industry. There are numerous other languages, however, that are less well known yet still have ardent devotees.