Truck Drivers:

You usually don't get to see them directly because they sit somewhere at an

altitude. You can however identify the cabin crew by a frantically waving

hand on the non-driver side.

This hand belongs to a crew-member called

'cleaner' and all scholastic efforts till date have failed to decipher the

symbolic meaning of these waving. It is however Safe to assume that these

waving mean 'stay away'. Fortunately the trucks are prohibited from the

arterial roads. But you can see them racing each other at 30 kmph and 31

kmph on the ring road. They successfully block the whole width of the road.

It is advised that you take them over from left (yes, the wrong side) for,

they wont let you pass from the right side anyway. The other advice is to

keep away from them.



BMTC Drivers:

You can see them from a mile away from the distinguishing color and

driving. It can be very dangerous and frustrating to follow a BMTC bus. The

bus follows Heisenberg's uncertainty principle and at any instance you can

not predict the speed AND the position correctly. One observation that

might help the reader is that they always keep right between bus stops and

move to left (well, almost) at bus stops. This is the apt opportunity for

you to take the bus over and go stuck behind the next one. The drivers can

be seen although mostly through the bus's rear view mirror. If you happen

to see them directly through their window, be prepared to listen to advice

for having taken them over in a dangerous fashion. While a normal bus can

easily create a road block on any given road, there are special capacity

joint-buses (called janti vaahana) which have an uncanny power of blocking

up to 3 roads at a time at a junction.



Cab Drivers:

Characterized by red eyes, irritable nature, unkempt facial hair, constant

honking even at stationary object! They always try to go at 80 kmph, assume

the urgency of an ambulance and expect everyone else has less important

job. Most of them do not sleep for days together and some of them are

trying to compete with David Blain for stretching human limits. The author

personally knows few cab drivers who do not have a habitat. They just keep

a pair of spare uniform in the cab, eat sleep in the cab and use public

bathrooms. Driving style of these indicates that many of them were auto

rickshaw driver earlier. However, they still seem to carry the self image

of an auto rickshaw and try to squeeze a MUV into the 1 meter gap between

any two objects.



Car Drivers:

Characterized by creased foreheads. Having paid through their noses and

fighting to pay the EMI, they are obsessive about their cars and want to

make sure nobody bumps/scratches their car body. This sits on the mind

perpetually and causes those creases on foreheads. Most pitiable class of

drivers having the most to lose from the mistakes of other classes of

drivers.



Auto Rickshaw Drivers:

Having stood over years as undisputed symbol for rash driving, they are

unfortunately losing grounds to cab drivers. (Unfortunate because a rashly

driven MUV is more dangerous than a rashly driven auto rickshaw). Auto

rickshaws are the vehicles with most diverse speed ranges. They travel at

speeds approaching zero when they have no passengers aboard and travel at

speed of unto 3x108 m/s when a passenger is aboard. Analogous to the belief

that "a cat can pass through any hole that is bigger than its skull" auto

rickshaws can "pass through any gap that is wider than the headlight". They

defy all laws of Physics. A typical auto driver sits with a calm and

indifferent attitude of a formula-1 driver just before the race.  Based on

his age, he is a Rajkumar/Shankarnag/Darshan fan.

He feels strongly towards these actors and towards Karnataka and Kannada.

In a surprising observation, many auto drivers refuse 1.5 times the meter

reading after 10 PM if you are exiting from Ranga Shankara*. This is their

humble way of commemorating their favorite star who made films like

Auto-Raja.



* Ranga Shankara is a theater built in memory of late Shankar Nag and it is

the place where all new dramas are staged first


Two Wheeler Drivers:

The class in the most advantageous position. They consist of a variety of

sub-populations like office goers, salesmen, mothers dropping children to

school, college students, neighborhood store owner transporting about 1 ton

weight on a moped, whole families of 4-5 children going on an outing etc.

They usually mind their own business and do not cause inconvenience to

other types of vehicles. They use all possible space on and around the

road, including footpaths, medians, drainages, staircases etc and thus

enhance infrastructure utilization.