After speeding cars, noisy neighbours and falling cigarette butts I think we need something to cheer us up.  So, heres Dilbert’s one liners:

  1.   Alcohol  doesnt  solve  any  problems .... but  if  you  think  again  neither  does  milk.

 2.    Life  is  unsure... always  eat  your  dessert   first 

1. Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote: Yes!


2. Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant it's already raining. Sardar: So what? Take an umbrella and go.

3. Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

4. A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.

1. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
2. Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
3. Why'd they call it PMS? Cos Mad cow disease was already taken!
4. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
5. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
6. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...

3 kinds of people: Those who can count & those who can't.