Q: Why did God invent armadillos?
A: So that rednecks can have 'possum on the half-shell.

Backup - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods.
Bug - The reason you give for calling in sick.
Byte - What your pitbull done to cousin Jethro.
Chip - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in.

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? a) '66 Ford Fairlane b) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle c) '64 Pontiac GTO

1. Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.
2. You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations.