*   Golf balls are like eggs . they're white. They're sold by the dozen ...
      and a week later you have to buy more.

    * A pro-shop gets its name from the fact that you have to have the income
      of a professional golfer to buy anything in there.
    * It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace
      his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.
    * When you stop to think about it, did you ever notice that it's a lot easier
      to get up at 6:00 a.m. to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the yard?
    * Golf is by far the ultimate love / hate relationship. Sometimes it seems
      as though your cup runneth and moveth over.
    * It takes longer to learn good golf than it does brain surgery. On the other
      hand, you seldom get to ride around on a cart, drink beer eat hot dogs and
      fart while performing brain surgery.
    * A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving
      up the game.
    * Water hazards are no walk in the park for fish, turtles, frogs or gators either.
    * Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up
      praying a lot.
    * A good golf partner is one who's always slightly worse than you.
    * That rake by the sand trap is there for golfers who feel guilty about skipping out on lawn work.
    * If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game of your life.
    * If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven,
      he probably shot an eight.
    * You probably wouldn't look good in a Green Jacket anyway!
      A sweatshirt will do just fine!