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Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Dewey.
Dewey who?
Dewey have to go to school today?

Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?
She couldn’t control her pupils!

Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with "t".
Pupil: Today and Tomorrow.

What school supply is always tired?
A knapsack!

Teacher: I see you missed the first day of school.
Kid: Yes, but I didn't miss it much.

Teacher: Could you please pay a little attention?
Student: I'm paying as little attention as I can.

Teacher: James, where is your homework?
James: I ate it.
Teacher: Why?
James: You said it was a piece of cake!

Teacher: Why is your homework in your father’s handwriting?
Pupil: I used his pen!

Teacher: You’ve got your shoes on the wrong feet.
Pupil: But these are the only feet I’ve got!

What’s the difference between a teacher and a steam train?
The first goes “Spit out that chewing gum immediately!” and the second goes “chew chew”!

Today my teacher yelled at me for something I didn’t do.
What was that?
My homework!

What is white when its dirty and black when its clean?
A blackboard!

 
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