Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

A retired gentleman went into the social security office to apply for Social Security. After waiting in line for a long time he got to the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age.

Henry goes to confession and says, "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. Last night I was with seven different women."

The priest says,

A man walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink. The bartender gives him his drink, accompanied by a bowl of peanuts.

To his surprise, a voice comes from the peanut bowl.