Everything is relative to Military Rank

hoME

The military has many unique ways of looking at problems. Many times, even though the personalities traits may be identical, they are always relative, by rank. The system seems to handle each one differently. However, the lower in rank you are, the clearer the problem becomes.

BAD ATTITUDE
THE COLONEL - Has his own way of doing things
THE CAPTAIN - Has initiative
THE SERGEANT - Often follows his own course
THE CORPORAL - Is a discipline problem and never follows orders

UNKEPT APPEARANCE
THE COLONEL - Sets a different standard
THE CAPTAIN - Requires improvement in dress and deportment
THE SERGEANT - Is untidy
THE CORPORAL - Is a scruffy bastard

STRANGE DEMEANOR
THE COLONEL - Has a unique perspective
THE CAPTAIN - Is known to be eccentric
THE SERGEANT - Tends to be slightly off track
THE CORPORAL - Is a bloody flake

LOW INTELLIGENCE
THE COLONEL - Possess a different way of thinking
THE CAPTAIN - Has problems with some concepts
THE SERGEANT - Is a slow learner
THE CORPORAL - Has the I.Q. of a garden slug

DOMESTIC SITUATION
THE COLONEL - Interacts well socially with the fairer gender
THE CAPTAIN - Has many female friends
THE SERGEANT - Has been seen in the company of other women
THE CORPORAL - Screws around on his wife

SEXUAL ORIENTATION
THE COLONEL - Loves his men
THE CAPTAIN - Has an alternative lifestyle
THE SERGEANT - Has feminine qualities
THE CORPORAL - Is a screaming, prancing fag

SUITABLE PUNISHMENT
THE COLONEL - A slight reprimand may be necessary if this happens again
THE CAPTAIN - Requires disciplinary action
THE SERGEANT - Should be punished
THE CORPORAL - Should be thrown in a hole and buried alive

AWOL
THE COLONEL - Has taken an extended leave period
THE CAPTAIN - Is on personal administration
THE SERGEANT - Is not at work today
THE CORPORAL - AWOL

RANK IS FILLED BY A WOMAN
THE COLONEL - Has worked hard and made her "sisters" proud
THE CAPTAIN - Can do the same work as any man at her rank
THE SERGEANT - Does well against the challenges her gender must face
THE CORPORAL - Is probably a dyke