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☻I got on the train last night - they had a new sign up reading - "Maximum Occupancy: 200 Patrons OR Yo Mama"
☻Yo grannie's so fat, on each of her butt cheeks she has "Place Your Ad Here" printed.
☻Yo mama's a stunt double for the Predator
☻Yo mama is so bad, when she got called for jury duty she was found guilty.
☻Yo sista so fat that she gets runs in her Levi's
☻Yo mama's so fat, she ain't on a diet, she's on a Triet - She's all like - "Whatever yo eating ... I'll try it!"
☻Yo Mother in law's so fat, she was floating in the Atlantic ocean and Spain claimed her as a New World.
☻Yo mama's so fat, she gobbles down Cookies as if they were tic-tacs
☻Your moma's so stupid she thinks a 17 inch Admiral is a well hung sailor.
☻Yo mama's so large, she went to get an all over tan and the sun burned out...
☻Your mamma's so fat, the body snatchers called home for backup.
☻Yo AOL buddy so stupid when the Computer said 'Press any key to continue', she phoned support complaing she couldn't find the 'any' key...
☻Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Tiger Woods is a forest in India.
☻You mama's so daft she thought Chubby Checkers was a game for fat people.
☻Yo Cousin so stupid that when I said I was going to Thailand she asked me if they still sold Kippers....
☻Your so ugly even the Elephant Man makes jokes about ye!
☻Yo Nana so ugly she didn't get hit with an ugly stick, but with THE ugly log.
☻I was speaking to your parents - they told me you was such an ugly baby they had to feed you with a slingshot.
☻Yo' kid brother so hairy, when I took him to the zoo the gorillas went ape shit thinking I had stole one of their babies...
☻Yo mama only got 1 finger and runs around stealing key rings.
☻Yo auntie Ethel's so toothless, it took her an hour to eat minute rice.
☻Yo mama's like the new AOL 7.0: Fast, fun, oh so easy and you get 100 hours FREE
☻Yo brother's mouth so damn enormous, he speaks in Dolby surround sound!
☻Yo girlfriend's hips are so big, folk set their drinks on them. Your Noggin's so damn big you gotta wash yer hair in the Niagra Falls...
☻Yo Mama's so freakin nasty, I talked to her over the PC and she gave me a virus.
☻Yo mama's like a pirate, there she blows
Yo mama is so fat she has three shirt sizes, jumbo, humongus, and "OH
MY GOD IT'S COMING TOWARDS US!!"
☻Yo mama so poor i saw her kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing she said moving.
Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed with her to see how long she slept.
Yo mama's so damn stupid on a job application it said "sex" and she wrote Monday wednesday and sometimes friday.
☻Paris and Rico walked into the locker room holding his side and bending over. Paris says "ow man im so sore" Dario asks " whats wrong?" Paris replies " man yo mama was rough last night" Rico adds " she needs to loosen up"
☻Yo mama such a dirty whore that they're having to paternity test the whole state of Texas just to find out who yo daddy is!
☻Yo mamma so old that in the back seat of your car, kids don't say 'Are we there yet', they scream, 'Is she Dead yet!'
☻Yo mamas so hairy wen u were born u almost died of rugburn
☻Yo mama smells so bad, when she went to make friends with a skunk, the skunk got hit by a truck on purpose!
☻Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a bathroom and nearly pissed her
pants
☻Yo mama so fat her logo is "we are family, burger king, mc donalds and
me..."
☻Yo mama so fat she has all the food caterers on speed dial
☻Yo mama is so big she tripped over wal-mart and landed on target and evey time she passes by the t.v. i miss a seoson of friends
☻Your mommas so old someone told her to act her age and she died
☻Yo mama so poor that when i stepped on a cigarette she cried, hey, who turned off the heater.
☻Your sister is so ugly she reminds me of your mom.
☻Yo mamma so ugly, yo daddy would rather kiss her ass before going work everyday
☻Your moms so ugly the mailman mistacked her as the dog.
☻You mama so fat she stepped on an airplane and it turned into a submarine
☻This is a fact, yo mama's breath Is wack, she needs a tic, not a tac, but the whole damn pack
I don't mean to be mean, but yo mama needs listerine, not a sip, not a swallow, but the whole damn bottle.
☻Yo Mama's teeth are so yellow, cars slow down when she smiles!
Yo Mama's breath is so bad, she made a tic tac run away!
☻Your jokes are so corny that the corns on your toes got jealous.
Yo mama so ugly when she looked out the window she was arrested for 1st degree murder.
☻Yo mama like a fast food restaraunt - quick and easy!!!
☻Yo moma is so fat when it rains she uses a highway for a slip 'n' slide
☻Yo mamma so damn fat that when she traveled back to the dinosaur times and she took a step the dinosaurs said what the hell is happing...oh shit its a real damn earthquake.
☻Your mama so stupid when she saw a kid dress as a devil in halloween she thouth she was in hell
☻Yo Momma's so ugly, even Sloth from the Goonies wouldn't date her.
☻Yo mama like a shotgun - five cocks and shes loaded
☻Yo Mamma so damn ugly she makes Anne Ramsey look like J Lo.
☻Yo' mamma so ugly she got arrested for vandalizing a mirror shop.
☻Yo mama so stupid she put a peep hole in a glass door
☻Yo mama like nascar - two rubbers and shes ready to ride.
☻Yo mama's so ugly, she made a blind man cry!
☻Yo mamma so old, fat and hairy, that when she took you to the zoo the zookeepers thought a silverback Gorilla had abducted you!
☻Yo mama so fat, that when u were born, they had 2 send out a search party to find ya!
☻Yo mama soooo ugly, she works as a double for Saddam Hussein.
☻Yo moma so stupid if she would to speak her mind she would be speachless
☻Yo mama soooo poor she can't even pay attention!
☻Yo kid brother so damn ugly that the kids at school have started saying, "Hey Gollum, give us your autograph"
☻Yo mama so0o0o fat, one day she walked out with a yellow rain jacket on and the children began yelling, "Hey, the School Bus is here!"
☻Yo mama so0o0o fat, she takes baths in the Atlantic Ocean
☻Listen buddy, your mommy is so freakin dumb that if you told her pappa was a rolling stone, she'd tell her momma to put mick jagger on child support!
☻Yo Momma so damn fat the Police where going to use her as an emergency air mattress when Michael Jackson started dangling his baby.
☻Hey, yo momma so damn fat when her beeper goes off people turn around to see if she is backin up!!
☻Yo moma so fat when she wears a yellow rain coat all the people yell "taxi"
☻Yo mama's so damn fat that when she was kidnapped her face covered every side of the milk carton!
☻You so ugly when a friend walked you into school the teachers said sorry no pets aloud!
☻Your Mama so dumb she brought a spoon to the super bowl.
☻Yo Mama's so damn ugly that she turned your dad gay.
☻Yo mama's so bald, Mr. Clean got jealous.
☻Hey, your Momma is so sluttie I'd call her a hoe but hoes' get paid.
☻Yo Mamas so damn greasy that she has to use bacon for a bandaid.
☻Yo' mama so dumb she got locked inside Matress World and slept on the floor.
☻Yomomma so hairy that when she puts her arm to her side it looks like she has Don King in a headlock.
☻Yo mama so stupid that she got stabbed in a shoot out.
☻Yo mama so fat that when she went to sea world the little kids ran away and told their parents that a whale escaped.
☻Yo' Mamma is so fat she uses a VHS as a beeper!
☻Yo mama so stupid she sat on the tv and watched the couch.
☻Yo' Mamma is so fat she uses a VHS as a beeper!
☻Your mama's so fat the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!
☻Yo Mama so damn old she used to Gang Bang with the Flintstones and had an affair with Captain Caveman.
☻Yo mamas so fat she shoved a battery up her ass and yelled "I got the Power!".
☻Yo mama so stupid and clumsy, she got tangled in a cordless phone.
☻Yo mama soooo fat, she put on a yellow dress and the kids thought she was the school bus.
☻Yo' Sista's just like a like a Popsicle - everybody wants a fuckin lick!
☻Yo Mamma's so hairy she just got an armpit trim and lost 20 pounds!
☻Yo Moma sooooo ugly, I could have been yo Daddy but the dog beat me under the fence!
☻Yo momma is soooooo stupid, she wears a t-shirt that says "hukd on fonicks woorkd fo mi"
☻Yo mam like a screen door - after a couple of bangs she tends to loosen up.
☻Yo mama is so fat she sat on a rainbow and made Skittles!
☻Yo mama so stupid she puts a ruler on her pillow to see how long she slept
☻I heard that Yo mama is on the warpath - she lost a finger and now can't count past 9...
☻Yo mama so nasty when she masterbates, she gets arrested for cruelty to animals.
☻Yo mama's blind and is seeing another man.
☻Yo mama's glasses are so damn thick she can see into the future.
☻Yo mama's so old, she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.
☻You gotta tell yo moma to stop changing lipstick color - I'm now getting a freakin Rainbow on my d**k!
☻Yo sista so damn stupid on her last job application where it said 'Sex?' she marked "M, F, and occasionally on a Thursday too.."
☻You' big brother so damn stupid that on his last job application, under emergency contact he put 999 (911).
☻Yo mam is so stupid - I just aks her about her X-Men and she said: "Well, my first baby's daddy was Jimmy...and I still see Johnny on Fridays...."
☻Yo Grannie so stupid she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project.
☻Yo Mother in law's teeth are so yellow, Dorothy and Toto thought it was the Yellow Brick Road.
☻Yo Momma's like a Snickers bar - packed full with with nuts.
☻Yo ex-girlfriend's like Humpty Dumpty... first she gets humped, then she gets dumped.
☻Yo mama's like a race car driver...she burns a lot of rubbers...
☻Yo Auntie just like the Suez Canal - Vessels full of Seamen passing through everyday...
☻Yo gilfriends's afro so damb big, when the bitch got in my car everyone thought I had tinted windows.
☻Yo Mama ass so huge she take up 5 rows in the cinema...
☻Yo Papa's so short, he tried to commit suicide with a pin.
☻Yo Grannie's so enormous that when she went to the drycleaners to hand in her underwear, they put up a sign - 'NO PARACHUTES ALLOWED'
☻You Biology teacher so freakin stupid she thinks that DNA is the National Dyslexics Association.
☻Yo' best friend so idiotic she thoughtt Menopause was a button on her walkman.
☻You Momma so fat and stupid that her waist is bigger than her I.Q.
☻Tell Yo' girlfriend my Dog wanna know how much he owes her for last night...
☻Yo' papa so damn strange that he invented a water-proof teabag.
☻Yo mother in law so bald that when she put on a sweater, folk thought she was a roll on deoderant!
☻Did you know flies were given wings so that they could beat yo mama to the dump?
☻I heard yo house was made out of bog paper - why? cuz your whole family full of crap!
☻Yo kid brother so fat and ugly Peter Jackson offered him the part of the Cave Troll in lord of the rings
☻You Nose so damn big that we use yer snotters as Footballs.
☻Yo Momma so mad that she even made Kurt Russell escape from LA.
☻Yo Nana so ghetto she washes paper plates.
☻Oi, yo need to tell you mama to stop wearing the blue lipstick...I got balls like a smurf now!
☻You so skinny, you turned sideways and disappeared.
☻Yo mama's so bald, when she braids her hair, it remind me of stitches.
☻Yo Mama so fat when she steps on a scale it reads "One at a time, please".
☻Yo mama so fat and stupid that she was fired from Forrest Gump cuz she kept eating the box of chocolates.
☻Yo Sista so fat the National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts.
☻Yo Mama so poor that she uses tumbleweed as a Xmas tree.
☻You Mommy so hairy she's got afros on her nipples.
☻Yo' mama breath so disgustingly bad that she needs Freshmints with batteries in it
☻Yo Papa's like an old arcade machine - toss in a quarter and you can play with his joystick.
☻Yo mama such a bitch, she interned for Clinton.
☻I told her drinks were on the house...so she went and got a ladder...
☻she make Homer Simpson look like a Nobel Prize winner
☻she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Cif.
☻she noticed a sign reading 'Wet Floor'...so she just did!
☻it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
☻when you were born, she looked at your umbilical cord and said, "Wow, it comes with cable too!"
☻she asked for a refund on a jigsaw puzzle complaining it was broken.
☻she got locked in the Quickie Mart and nearly starved to death.
☻she sold her Car for Petrol cash!
☻she reckoned a Quarterback was a refund...
☻she once attempted to commit suicide by jumping off a Kerb.
☻she leaves tell tales signs she's been using my computer - white out (tipp ex) is on the screen.
☻she took a job cutting grass on an Oil Rig.
☻I found her peaking over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
☻it took her 2 days to make Microwaveable Pot Noodles.
☻she invented a silent car alarm.
☻that when you stand beside her you can actually hear the ocean
☻she really thought the cinema was selling Free Willies...
☻she watches The Three Stooges and takes notes.
☻she was born on Halloween and can't remember her birthday.
☻she thought Morning Dew was a New York radio station.
☻she lost her shadow.
☻she went to a Whalers game to see Kiko.
☻she somehow got fired from a Blow-Job
☻she thought Hot Meals were stolen food.
☻she make Laurel and Hardy look like Nobel Prize winners.
☻when I asked her to purchase me a Colour TV she asked me...'Which colour?'
☻Anything Yo's - So Damn Stupid...
☻Yo Poppa so stupid he studied for a Dope test!
☻Yo Postman so stupid that on his recorded delivery form where it says 'Don't write below dotted line', he puts 'OK'
☻Yo teacher so stupid she booked herself into the Bettie Ford clinic cos she thought she was Hooked On Phonics.
☻Yo Boss so stupid he bought everybody in the department solar powered flashlights incase of a blackout...
☻Yo Business associate so stupid he thought Gangrene was another golf course.
☻Your Kid Sister so damn stupid she put your puppy in the oven to make a Hot Dog.
☻Yo' Sister is so insanely stupid that last week she asked me to go to the lost and found with her when she missed her period.
☻Yo Dentist so stupid he uses mayonnaise as tooth filler
☻Yo Sister so dumb that she thought Taco Bell was Mexican phone company.
☻Your Grandpa so achingly stupid he think Beirut is a famous baseballer.
☻Your kid bro so stupid he try to strangle himself with his mobile phone.
☻Yo Minister so stupid he gives Sermons on Genesis....Phil Collins old band...
☻Your Kid sister so damn stupid she stands up on an empty School bus.
☻Yo Mom so stupid that Oxford had to change the definition of Dumb...it now read: Dumb(n) - yo' Mama
☻Yo Burglar so stupid he broke into yo house and stole food stamps
☻You cousin so stupid I told him to take out the garbage...so he moved house...
☻Yo Bus driver so stupid that she went to Disneyworld, saw a sign that said "Disneyworld Left" so drove home.
☻Yo Politics professor so stupid he ask George W Bush to guest lecture on Government 101.
☻Yo' accountant so darn stupid he thinks a Quarterback is an income tax refund.
☻Your Computer Repairman so stupid he picks up your floppy's with magnets
☻Yo Mother-in-law so stupid, she won first place in the Dan Quale spelling contest
☻Yo Archeology Professor so damn stupid they have to dig for her IQ!
☻Yo Girlfriend so stupid, she teaches night classes at Stupid College.
☻Yo' Father in law so idiotic that he took a spoon to the superbowl.
☻Yo Sister's so stupid she could trip over a cordless telephone.
☻Yo Dog walker so stupid he took yo pet dog to the Clippers game to get him a haircut
☻Your Big Sister so god awfully stupid that they had to burn her school down just to get her out of 3rd grade.
☻Yo Father's so freakin stupid he has 1 toe on each foot, yet he just bought himself a pair of flip flops.
☻You Grandma's so stupid when I tell her it's chilly outside, she goes to fetch a bowl.
☻Your Grandpa so freakin stupid he sent me a fax with a 1st class stamp on it!
☻Yo BT Telephone repairman so freakin stupid he asked me what the number for 999 was...
☻Yo girlfriend so stupid when her Apple Mac says 'You've got mail" she runs outside to wait for the Postman
☻Yo Uncle so astonishingly stupid that he thought Nestle Cheerio's were a new type of Donut Seed
☻Yo Auntie so dumb her weekly shopping list consist of 1 item - 'Hundreds and thousands'
☻Your Dog's so stupid he bury's his own tail
☻Yo mama's so stupid, wait...she had you didn't she!
☻Yo Mother in law so stupid I saw her in Safeway's frozen food section with a fishing rod
☻Yo Uncle so stupid...heck, he marry your Auntie for christ sake!
☻Yo Priest so stupid I saw him worshiping at the feet of David Copperfield
☻Yo Reverand so stupid he asks David Ike for advice
☻Yo Grannie so dumb she go to the 24-hr convenience store and asks what time do they close...
☻Yo Mother in law so hellishly stupid, that Tony Blair is considering making dumbness a crime, punishable by lethal injection.
☻Your doctor's so stupid he uses his mp3 player as a stethoscope
☻Yo Mama So Ugly
☻she put the Boogie man outta business.
☻she make Michael Jackson look like Brad Pitt
☻when she wobbles down the street in September, folk say, "Damn it, can't believe it's Halloween already..."
☻when she applied for the ugly contest they told her 'NO Professionals'
☻she looked out her window and was arrested for indecent exposure!
☻minutes after she was born her Mother shouted 'What a treasure!" and her Poppa said "Yes, now let's go and bury her..."
☻they push her face into the dough mixture when making Monster cookies.
☻when they took her to the Beautician it took 10 hours....and that was just for the quote!
☻yer Daddy takes her to work each day so he doesny have to kiss her goodbye...
☻she put Marilyn Manson out of business.
☻she was a guard at Snake Mountain
☻they knew what time she was born cuz her face stopped the clock...
☻even Harry Knowles refused to date her.
☻they embalmed her face on a box of super-strength laxatives and sold it empty!
☻she gets 364 extra days just to dress up for Halloween.
☻Tony Blair moved Halloween to her birthday.
☻you papa throws the ugly stick and she goes fetches it every time.
☻she scared the stitching outta Frankenstein.
☻we had to tie a steak round her neck so the dogs would play with her.
☻I heard yer Father first met her at the Zoo.
☻her shadow gave up.
☻people at the Zoo pay cash so they DON't have to see her...
☻her mom had to be Pissed drunk just to breast feed her.
☻when born, the doctors had to fit her incubator with tinted windows. |
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