Doctors are whippersnappers in ironed white coats,

who spy up your rectum and look down your throats,

 You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you’ll be afraid to cough.

- Pearl Williams

These are notes that school secretaries have actually received. Some of these were in an article in the Detroit News back in the 1970s.

 A woman in her 90’s is distraught after the death of her warm, caring, faithful husband of seventy years. She can’t live without him and decides that the best way to do herself in is to stab herself in her pitifully broken heart.