Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching the telly when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a clip board and yelling, "You sign! You sign!"

The only question asked was: 'Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?'

The survey was a huge failure because...

• 'Here's my strategy on the Cold War: We win, they lose.'
• 'The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'
• 'The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant; it's

How do jews tie their shoes?
in little nazi’s !