From an ex-field sales/support survivor:

I used to work in a computer store. One day, we had a gentleman call in with a smoking power supply. The service representative was having a bit of trouble convincing this guy that he had a hardware problem.

For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However, more recent information has proven otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light, they suck dark. Thus we call these bulbs dark suckers.

The Vicrosoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating every aspect of American life with the introduction of Contraceptive99, a suite of applications designed for users who engage in sex.

The following is a conversation heard last week regarding Bill Gates moving into a new house...

Bill: "There are a few issues we need to discuss."